I dressed up again in some nice lingerie, my black neckholder, black stockings, pink high heels and this time i put full make up on me including pink nail polish on my fingers.
I love meanwhile that i have the oppportunity to dress up more often then in the past and i feel completely addicted to that. Meanwhile I also sleep in nearly each night in a negligee and with panties. I won't miss it anymore. It's not an easy process to acknowledge my feminine side with the consequences about my marriage resulting from this. More and more i realize that my life is at an important turning point.
I feel happy with that feminine side, but i feel also sometimes alone and would wish to have someone with me, who will accept my femme side. I know you told me to have patience and making not too big steps in a very short time. But emotionally i feel most time happy but sometimes sad in the next moment. It will take time to get right with all this different emotions.
A side effect which i noticed recently is also that it looks like that my sexual orientation is changing. You know i was a pure hetero for a long time, but meanwhile I watch nearly each day porn movies about shemales or girls who are sucking men cocks. And I have to admit that it excites me totally and I dream often about having sex like a shemale. Sometimes I ask myself whats going on with me.